


Suppression

by marytalouise



Series: Asexual Ereri [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-25 15:53:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/954974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marytalouise/pseuds/marytalouise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is Levi's only source of comfort, but not in the way many expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suppression

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, there is spoilers from episode 21. Second, this fic turned out to be a lot more serious than I had intended it to be, but I fell in love with it as I was writing. I really hope you enjoy this one shot, and a serious Eren.

_Eren knocked on Levi's door, lightly, knuckles barely tapping the wood. He knew that Levi could sense his presence without the knock. He didn't really know how, but it was a part of Levi and that's all Eren needed to know. He accepted it without any second thoughts._

_"Come in," a deep voice called. Eren frowned slightly, Levi sounded tired, and Eren understood. He was more surprised that the corporal hadn't collapsed from exhaustion. He'd been in charge of this year's new recruits, and there had been a lot of them. Many families had been affected after the mission almost a year ago, and it had affected people almost exactly opposite to how Eren had predicted. He had thought everyone would steer clear of the Recon Corps more so than before, but they'd had an influx of trainees requesting to be placed in the Recon division. When Eren had asked a new recruit why so many had chosen this branch, the recruit answered simply that he could let his friends and family die in vain._

_It had already been a year since the majority of Levi's squad had been wiped out, but Eren felt their absence like a hole in his heart daily. Looking at the corporal's face, Eren could instinctively tell that he, too, remembered his fallen comrades. Eren imagined it was worse for Levi; he had to see every new recruit and Eren was positive at least some had traits that reminded Levi of the dead._

_A heavy sigh escaped Levi's lips, and Eren sat in the chair across the desk from Levi. Eren waited quietly for Levi to finish marking the documents in his hand and when Levi looked up, Eren took a deep, steadying breath._

_"Sir, I know this might not be a good time, but I have something I'd like to discuss with you."_

_Levi leaned back in his chair, staring._

_After a few moments of silence, his voice carried in the air, "Oi, brat, I don't have all night."_

_Eren smiled softly at the demeaning name, understanding that Levi used it as a term of endearment, rather than a term of annoyance._

_Eren leaned across the desk and placed one of his hands atop one of the corporal's. Levi immediately pulled away and Eren chuckled. "I cleaned my hands thoroughly before I came sir."_

_Levi leaned a bit closer, to inspect Eren's hand, before cautiously setting it back down and allowing Eren's hand to cover it._

_"I'm sure you're aware, but I..." Eren swallowed thickly. "I have feelings for you. I won't give them a name like 'love,' but I want you to know I care for you, romantically. I don't ask for anything in return, and I know you have your hands full right now with the new recruits, but I see the bags under your eyes, hear the heavy sighs you breath. When you think no one is looking, I see the pain and stress that you allow into your eyes, even if it's just a fraction of a second, because I look, Corporal."_

_Eren paused, looking for any change on the older man's face. Eren continued slowly._

_"You don't need to provide me with an answer, you don't need to return my feelings. Just keep in mind that I'm close, and that you can lean on me Corporal, physically when your body exhausts you, or emotionally when your heart does."_

* * *

 

It had been almost three months since Eren's confession, and he and the corporal were closer than ever.

Recruits noted that they were never apart for more than a few hours, usually when going to bed. It was Levi's job to watch over Eren, so even on missions they stayed side by side.

Hanji had noticed subtle yet significant changes in the corporal, almost disbelieving when a week ago he had smiled for the first time since his squad's death. It wasn't a grin, but it was something, and Hanji thanked whoever was listening for Eren's presence in the corporal's life.

Hanji watched as the previously mentioned pair rounded a corner of the castle side by side, discussing something written on a paper in front of them.

She called Eren over, for the moment ignoring her new experimental subjects, a female titan and a male titan, both still unnamed. Although Hanji acted like science was her everything, she had felt the deaths of Levi's squad almost as much as Levi himself. They had been the people she was closest to, the only ones who hadn't treated her as a pariah, no matter how much they messed with her. Eren had been a bright spot in the months of darkness after their passing, letting her experiment on him for days, weeks, on end to keep her mind preoccupied.

Eren stopped in front of Hanji, a questioning look on his face.

"Let's go talk somewhere a little private." She motioned to a table out of earshot from her subordinates. She was unsure how much Eren knew about Levi's sexual life, or lack of, and although she felt it was Levi's business to tell him, he wanted the young man to be prepared.

They sat side-by-side, watching as Hanji's subordinates readied the subjects for experiments.

"Eren, you're in love with Levi, right?" Eren nodded. "Then I feel like you should know that the corporal, he's...different from a lot of people." Hanji felt her breath catch in her throat as a small, soft smile, emanating feelings of love, admiration and understanding broke over Eren's face.

"I know, Hanji," he spoke, softly, voice barely above a whisper.

Hanji shook her head. "No, Eren. Levi is asexual. It means he won't have a sexual relationship with you. He rarely, if ever, gets sexual desires, and when he does he won't act on them. It's a part of who he is, do you understand? You're still a virgin, you want to live a little, right? Are you okay with that?" Her intention wasn't to try to change Eren's mind, but she wanted the boy to truly understand what he was getting into, so he wouldn't be disappointed, and Levi wouldn't be utterly broken if Eren left after it was too late.

Hanji started to panic internally as the smile left Eren's face, and he became deadly serious.

"Hanji, I think I understand what you're trying to say, but the corporal explained this to me already. I accept it, just as I will accept everything else about Levi. He's important to me, and not because he's my superior. He's important to me as a person. You brought up being a virgin, but I won't do anything with someone that _isn't_ the one I love. I get urges, of course, but I'm learning to suppress them. I understand that, _that_ isn't what Levi wants, and I'm okay with that. You might think it's hard for a hormonal teenager, but I think _you_ are the one who doesn't understand. When you find someone, and you know that they're happiness is more important to you than anything, you find yourself getting happy, by making them happy. I know it would make Corporal unhappy if I tried to change him, but I don't _want_ that. I fell in love with Levi because of who he is, and changing him would be pointless. I love him, and I love him the way he is _now._ I'll be okay if nothing ever changes."

Hanji stared wide-eyed, almost laughing at the fact that she was being chastised in love by a seventeen year old. Before she could make a sound, her and Eren jumped as Levi called out to Eren.

He was dangerously close to them, within earshot. Eren didn't seem to register the possibility that Levi had heard, eyes lighting up with happiness as he strode away, firmly at the corporal's side.

Hanji almost hoped that he had heard, she knew Levi would never ask about Eren's true feelings, just like she also knew that Eren would never say any of the things they had just talked over to Levi's face.

She hummed happily, proud of Eren's answer, as she got back to work.

* * *

 

Levi and Eren began readying themselves for bed; they'd taken to sharing a room, but only a few people were aware. It was a big room, big enough for two beds and a desk, with a closet and small table.

Levi's mind had been turning over Eren's words all day, and he couldn't help the warmth that spread through him as he remembered. He noticed with a sense of detachment that it didn't affect him downstairs, but he expected as much. No, the warmth that spread through him wasn't anything sexual, but an emotion. It surged through his veins, warming his cold heart, setting his feelings ablaze. Levi couldn't remember ever feeling like this, and he thought back to Eren's words, _"I love him, and I love him the way he is_ now _."_ _Is this love?_ Levi wondered.

He'd known for a long time that Eren was different. He'd been the only one to break through his walls after his squads abrupt end, and even now Eren was able to sense when he needed comfort, solitude or distractions. Levi had the sneaking suspicion that Eren knew him better than he knew himself.

While Levi had been stuck in his thoughts, Eren had managed to completely dress down into pajamas, a plain white shirt and pants made out of flexible, soft material. Although his groin didn't react to the sight, Levi felt his heart thud painfully loud in his chest. _It has to be love._

He cared for Eren so damn much, but he was aware he rarely showed it. He turned to Eren, grabbing him by his hand.

Eren glanced up at Levi in surprise.

"Sir, what is it?" Levi felt his lips twitch upward; even after all this time Eren still called him "sir" and "corporal."

"I heard you today..." Levi said softly.

Eren's head cocked to the side, confusion on his face. "Heard what?"

"You with Hanji." Levi watched as Eren's eyes widened, cheeks flushing a light pink with embarrassment. He looked into those blue-green eyes calmly, waiting as Eren relaxed little by little as he realized Levi wasn't upset over what he'd said.

Levi cupped Eren's face, and Eren leaned into the hand, thinking that was all he was going to get. Levi surprised the younger man by placing his lips softly over Eren's. The kiss lasted no more than three seconds, and it had been lighter than a feather, but when Levi pulled back, the most pure look of happiness shone on Eren's face that he was almost left speechless. Levi swallowed hard, and managed to murmur, "Thank you." He'd wanted to say I love you, but he wasn't able to get those words out yet. He would work on it, for Eren's sake.

Eren smiled softly, squeezing the corporals hand. "Yeah," he whispered. Eren gazed at Levi, content.

After one last squeeze, Eren dropped Levi's hand. "It's late, Levi," he spoke softly. "You need rest, we have to train with the recruits tomorrow."

Levi nodded, dimming the lantern in their room, before laying in his own bed.

Eren's face after being kissed floated in his mind, and as he drifted off to sleep, he could hear the echo of Eren's words: _"You find yourself getting happy, by making them happy."_

**Author's Note:**

> I loved writing this Eren/Levi dynamic. It felt really right to me, and I almost started crying writing it. I'm not sure why, I just was slammed with feels. Anyways, as always please leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments or contact me on tumblr (bakageta-ai).
> 
> If anyone is asexual and believes I got an aspect of this dynamic wrong, please do not hesitate to tell me and I will work on an edit to correct it. Thank you so much, as always, for reading!


End file.
